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Confessions of a former Deke

I was a Deke. I'm not proud of it. But I think it's important to acknowledge the experience, what it meant to me at the time, what I learned from it, and what it means to me today, looking back on that time now, as a father to one son and two daughters, during this period in our history when gender roles are bubbling up to the surface as one of the fault lines along which we are fracturing.

I was coming to college from a boarding school that had gone coed shortly before I arrived. I was a runner, cross country and track, with good enough times by my junior year in the mile and half mile to make the coaches list at Yale.

I think I spoke to three girls in my three years at boarding school. I wasn't a football or hockey player. Not a stud. Maybe a total of maybe five very short-lived conversations with the opposite sex. Seriously deprived was how I felt. But not entitled. There is a difference, a big difference. The summer before Yale I had spent working on the Cape. I think…

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